Southampton Uni Hit Scotland

Winning ‘The Spirit of PGL’ award at this year’s National Student Rodeo we bagged ourselves a year’s sponsorship with Pyranha and six shiny new boats! So whilst the boats make their way to us, here’s a splash of what we’ve been getting up to with a bit of classic Scotland:

After having a pretty scrapey season up to date, the words ‘SEVERE WEATHER WARNING’ were met with beaming smiles in the SUCC bunkhouse, as the club prepared for their week around Fort William. New members and older veterans of the club alike made the long drive north, and were rewarded from day one with fantastic levels on the Orchy. The water kept coming throughout the week, providing a healthy 6 pipe Upper Spean run to keep grins growing.

Of course water everywhere means two things for a university canoe club: first class boating and even better carnage. Some nailed lines, others failed lines. Most hucked up whilst the remainder mucked it up. But of course that’s all part of the fun of club boating and there were smiles all round for a great week that had an awesome vibe!


Southampton University Canoe Club

George Holmyard tackling Pattack falls Scotland 2011

Pyranha kayaks dominating the Road ahead

Pichee and the Molan taking the plunge

Valentines Dart [Pandora’s Box] 2011

Pandora’s Box: Facial Jargon

Many faces are often witnessed in this club, some good, some bad… and most ugly.

Exhibit A:Pandora’s Box

This wet slot has claimed many faces, but as you will see, none as colourful as the next few images.

Exhibit B: Looking cool

Matt Kelly

As much as it pains me to admit, this is a cool face. Determined, yet a deep understanding of the complicated mechanisms of life, perhaps gained from experiences in a remote country in a past existence… Or it’s just Matt “what a t**t” Kelly feeling good for getting a great line.

Exhibit C: Fear

George Holmyard

For some strange reason a recurring theme of fear has been witnessed on this feature, maybe people their faces a little too much?

Exhibit D: Distain

Will Swallow

The sort of distain that says “I cocked that up and I’m not happy about it”…”not one bit”.

Exhibit E: Fear?

Dave Goffe

Another Example of fear, yet this fear is a little odd looking.

Exhibit F: F***

Dan Crowley

This time, Distain turns into F***, “F***, I really cocked this up and I’m now heading to Pinsville…Sideways”.

Exhibit G: One Last Ugly breath

Chris Stevens

The High brace fails, what do you do?! Breathe deep my friend, breathe deep and fast.

Exhibit H: Ahhhh

George Godfrey

Looking at it will not make it go away!

Exhibit I: The Stiff Upper Lip

Andrew Sylvester

Remaining ever composed, Sylvester you maintain unparalleled river etiquette.

Exhibit J: Literal Relief

Huw Edwards

Huw feeling several pounds lighter here.

Valentines Dart 2011

SUCC, my sweet…

I knew that this time we spent together would be magical,

As soon as our eyes met across the Boat Hard,

The day we threw caution to the wind,

And our sleeping bags in the van.

Many a moment we shared that evening,

As the drinking games continued long into the night,

And even though I sucked an old’s nipple,

I assure you it meant nothing.


I could only gaze longingly at the get-on,

As you struggled into a pair of wet thermals.

And as I watched your line down Lover’s Leap,

I felt Cupid’s arrow pierce the front of my buoyancy aid,

Though unfortunately, it tore through my last piece of river chocolate.


I fondly recall the evening during which we walked,

Hand in hand, under the pale moonlight,

To the 24hour Tesco,

As we had run out of alcohol during a rather intense game of Touchcup.

And though you may have failed to down a copious amount of lemonade,

I woke sorrowfully the next morning,

Knowing that after another day upon the Loop,

We would once again have to part ways, (Until NSR of course…).


Much love, as always, from your Beardy admirer… XXX

You don't want to know

Tavy and Dart 2010

The Curly Whirly Tavy and Dart

On Friday night many SUCCers descended on Devon for Curly Whirly Tavy and Dart trip which had been optimistically advertised as the “best and most efficiently run trip of the year”. Games were played, drinks were consumed and the last I remember Roch and George were having a race to see who could eat a tea bag the fastest.


Despite some discussion we chose to paddle the Tavy on the Saturday. Rose lost her paddles at the first drop and was forced to use the first set of splits. Luckily JJ later spotted them and managed to live bait them out from behind a rock to the applause of some passing strangers. Then Simon became the second fresher to use the splits after he snapped his own paddles half way down the river. This was either an act of extreme strength or the unlucky result of knackered club kit.

Alex Jakobs managed to pin herself vertically against a rock and Simon became the best swimmer of the year so far with an impressive 11 swims in the course of the day.

As expected the river was very long and the light began to go before the river could be completed. River groups were forced to walk out and SUCCers became scattered across the Devon countryside. Luckily years of practice have allowed the club to get off the Tavy, in the dark, in a remarkably efficient manner. All kit, freshers and vehicles were soon reunited and returned to the hut in record time.

As a special treat the Shafters decided to wow the club with their culinary skill and cook a delicious curry for everyone. It was so good that Whirly was seen stealing the leftovers and taking them home to Southampton.

Sunday took us to the ever popular Dart Loop for some more extreme white water action. River shuttle faff allowed everyone to get creative on the river bank. Firstly Team Helen spelt out the word Helen using only the members of their river group.

Then an educational diorama was created to aid in the teaching of the “Love rocks, hate trees” mantra. It consisted of JJ’s kit, boat and a branch arranged to represent JJ getting stuck under a tree.

Once on the river Alex Madsen executed an impressive hammer off of the seal launch. This would however have been more impressive if he had known what a hammer was.

Finally, after a brilliant yet scrapey trip, we were ready to leave the hut and return to Southampton. Unfortunately, an act of Westenbrinking delayed our departure. Eric had left early, in the van, with the keys to the hut still in his pocket.

Lime – the game.

Lime is a simple ball game which can be played at any time.




As many as possible. Players should be slightly inebriated for best results.


Anywhere. However, it is best played in small church halls whilst sitting at large tables.


  • The game begins with a single lime being thrown by one player to another.•
  • “Lime” must be shouted whenever the lime is thrown
  • • If a player fails to catch the lime then they must consume.
  • • If a player fails to throw a catchable lime, they must consume.

Optional rules:• 

  • • More than one lime can be in play at once.
  • • If limes are squashed, cake, biscuits or apples may be substituted. A bite of the apple must be taken at each throw.
  • • The lime can be aggressively squashed against the table before each throw. Extra points in you spray the person next to you with juice as well.

The River Usk 2010

The Mighty Usk!

A trip?

To the Usk?

Organised by an old married couple?

What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

Yes, it was that time of year again, to journey to South Wales, where the valleys are low, the hills are high and the water is undrinkable. We arrived after many shenanigans in cars/minibuses, including a sing-along, which the freshers were very reluctant to join in with (I mean, who doesn’t like The Who?).

We settled down in luxurious accommodation, complete with stage AND table, and cracked open some beverages. Entertainment was provided by the SUCC Guitar and Ukulele Orchestra, who played along to such heart-warming melodies as ‘Fuck Her Gently’, and ‘Fat Bottomed Girls’. A game of ring of fire ensued, until we all decided it would be a good idea to get some rest before the river-running calamities of the next day.

After a delicious helping of burnt porridge, we made our way to the get-on, only to find that we were one BA short…ultimate faff! Leaving our beloved treasurer behind, we got into our groups, and got onto some GNARLY white water! Highlights on the river included Curly getting pinned to a rock by not one, but two freshers, Iona discovering superhuman strength and destroying a pair of paddles, and some epic boogying.

Saturday evening progressed in true SUCC style, with the creation of a new game…









…and the trip organisers, after all their hard work, getting taped to a tree. As usual, everything turned into drunken madness; a wild game of spoons turned sour (JJ, you’re a cheat); ‘I have never’ revealed some interesting truths about certain freshers (story!). A tickle

war broke out among some members while some freshers were trying to get to sleep (for future reference, those who are impossibly ticklish include JJ, Iona and Beardy). The next morning we took to the river again, however nothing unusual happened due to the disappointingly low water level, apart from Rossall illegally driving the van and getting the seats wet. After an effortless day’s paddling, we headed back to sunny Southampton via KFC with sore throats and lime juice stains.

By Beardy Dan and Kate Herbert

Dave gets friendly with a tree 🙂