Valentines Dart [Pandora’s Box] 2011

Pandora’s Box: Facial Jargon

Many faces are often witnessed in this club, some good, some bad… and most ugly.

Exhibit A:Pandora’s Box

This wet slot has claimed many faces, but as you will see, none as colourful as the next few images.

Exhibit B: Looking cool

Matt Kelly

As much as it pains me to admit, this is a cool face. Determined, yet a deep understanding of the complicated mechanisms of life, perhaps gained from experiences in a remote country in a past existence… Or it’s just Matt “what a t**t” Kelly feeling good for getting a great line.

Exhibit C: Fear

George Holmyard

For some strange reason a recurring theme of fear has been witnessed on this feature, maybe people their faces a little too much?

Exhibit D: Distain

Will Swallow

The sort of distain that says “I cocked that up and I’m not happy about it”…”not one bit”.

Exhibit E: Fear?

Dave Goffe

Another Example of fear, yet this fear is a little odd looking.

Exhibit F: F***

Dan Crowley

This time, Distain turns into F***, “F***, I really cocked this up and I’m now heading to Pinsville…Sideways”.

Exhibit G: One Last Ugly breath

Chris Stevens

The High brace fails, what do you do?! Breathe deep my friend, breathe deep and fast.

Exhibit H: Ahhhh

George Godfrey

Looking at it will not make it go away!

Exhibit I: The Stiff Upper Lip

Andrew Sylvester

Remaining ever composed, Sylvester you maintain unparalleled river etiquette.

Exhibit J: Literal Relief

Huw Edwards

Huw feeling several pounds lighter here.

Valentines Dart 2011

SUCC, my sweet…

I knew that this time we spent together would be magical,

As soon as our eyes met across the Boat Hard,

The day we threw caution to the wind,

And our sleeping bags in the van.

Many a moment we shared that evening,

As the drinking games continued long into the night,

And even though I sucked an old’s nipple,

I assure you it meant nothing.


I could only gaze longingly at the get-on,

As you struggled into a pair of wet thermals.

And as I watched your line down Lover’s Leap,

I felt Cupid’s arrow pierce the front of my buoyancy aid,

Though unfortunately, it tore through my last piece of river chocolate.


I fondly recall the evening during which we walked,

Hand in hand, under the pale moonlight,

To the 24hour Tesco,

As we had run out of alcohol during a rather intense game of Touchcup.

And though you may have failed to down a copious amount of lemonade,

I woke sorrowfully the next morning,

Knowing that after another day upon the Loop,

We would once again have to part ways, (Until NSR of course…).


Much love, as always, from your Beardy admirer… XXX

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