Jo Monk

Name: Jo ‘Monkey’ Monk (Queen of drunken speeches!)

Position: President (and Squelchers boss… though I don’t like to use the world boss- I prefer to keep a more informal atmosphere in the committee but deep down she knows I rule over her every move. Now bring me a doughnut bi-atch!)

Course: Medicine- House is entertaining AND educational!

Boat: Burn and Star

Life Ambition: To one day own a fleet of battle ships and sail around the world meeting random piano men and making friends with them. I would also like to own a mermaid in a tank and spend my days surfing and spending my incredibly-rich-and-handsome-husband’s money. I would then invest in a small jet and fly to every country in the world, just to say I’d been there and bought the T-shirt. I’d then buy a big wardrobe to keep my 193-different country T-shirts. Eventually I would retire in the Bahamas with a Dog called Dog and a large napping-bed and I will live happily ever after.

Random Note: Jo was born in the town of 'Poo' in Northern Ireland, which is why she has such a strong accent. Her parents are professional lullaby writers who work from home, this explains why she is the sleepiest woman in Britain. Her nickname 'monkey' came about from her tendency to steal windscreen wipers, snap aerials and rub her faeces on cars.

At an early age her prodigious flare for music resulted in her becoming a founder member of S Club 7, but after a brief affair with Sclub's Paul Catermole, she was asked by the management to leave the band, and was forced to concentrate on brass instruments.

Her passion for kayaking is rivalled only by her passion for winning, which is rivalled only by her passion for baking and decorating risque ginger-bread people. Fortunately of these areas kayaking is the one in which she is endowed with the greatest talent. She funds her way through her medical degree by designing kinder egg toys, although ironically is scared of surprises, allergic to chocolate and doesn't believe in toys.

Jo fought off fierce and ginger competition to become the president of Southampton University Canoe Club and we are lucky to have her.