Clive TBear

A message from Clive The Bear

Hello, and welcome to my homepage! I'm Southampton University Canoe Club's mascot. Contrary to popular belief, I wasn't stolen from a village hall in South Wales; I wanted out of that horrid place, away from the hordes of toddlers who kicked and threw me about making my life a misery. I managed to escape with an adoring group of students who promised me a life of luxury.

And what did I get?

(Taken from mouthfuls 2004)

This is an excerpt from Clive T Bears speech given from the top of a minibus to an assembled crowd of Club Mascots.

One score years ago I sat in a cold Scout Hut somewhere in the south of that damp country Wales when some great men and women dressed in rubber showed me a new life. A life where I had the opportunity to see the world and carry out incredible deeds. Now though I am hampered by my age and failing health I still have a dream:

I have a dream that at every river I paddle there will be signs to the get in and hot showers and cream teas at the get out. I have a dream that somewhere there is a pub, in the back of beyond with a waterfall behind, that will serve tequila and allow me to play ring of fire all night.

I have a dream that one day I will be able to go to Jesters and wake up in the morning with a clear head and settled stomach. And that one night I hope I will leave the Hobbit at closing time and make my 9 o’clock lecture the following morning.

I have a dream that there will be a Scotland trip where boats don’t appear on islands overnight and it rains so much that all the rivers are full. I have a dream that one day there will be, in the shadow of the Rab wave, a night where snorting Ströh 80 from someone’s belly button won’t make sense

I have a dream that one day, in this sceptred Isle, Paddlers and anglers will be able to live in harmony and enjoy the natural heritage of our rivers together in peace, and that in my life time, in the desert of misunderstanding that is Llangollen, an agreement can be found to allow little fresher boys and little fresher girls to swim side by side down Town Falls. I have a dream today

I have a dream that one day there will be a trip where faffing will be a thing of the past and two runs in a day will be possible. I have a dream where I am a paddling God and Grade 5 epics seem easy.

I have a dream today, I have a dream that one day my boat will not be judged by the contours of its plastic but by the competency of the person who sits within it. I have a dream where I am a paddling God. I live the dream;

I SUCC.